12 Days of Christmas Video 7

Here’s a back to back video on Trust and Being Present

You teach best what you most need to learn.” – Richard Bach

I am so loving this 12 Days of Christmas Video Series. What started out as “no agenda, just get in front of the camera already” is turning into a beautiful journey to myself and I am really honored (despite my initial discomfort) to share my growth and insights with you.

Each day prompts a deeper awareness and witnessing of an unlayering, unfolding and unveiling of THE GIFT of truth and light, and the true joy and spirit of Christmas.

THE GIFT is fully revealed only if you first trust in yourself, and that you trust that everything is happening for a reason and that it serves your highest good even if it doesn’t look that way. There’s always a gift in every moment.

To trust that every moment is a gift requires a shift to higher perspective and to deeply trust yourself. And to deeply trust yourself, you have to learn to be present in the present moment. The gift is in the Presence already in YOU.

If this intrigues or resonates with you, check out the “Power of Now” book by Eckhart Tolle. I won’t pretend I understood much of what he said in the book, so it might be time to revisit it and go deeper. For now, the following points from the book are relevant to today’s video.

  1. “Watching the thinker – Start listening to the voice in your head as often as you can. Pay particular attention to any repetitive thought patterns, those old audiotapes that have been playing in your head perhaps for many years.
  2. Focus your attention into the NOW – Just become intensely conscious of the present moment. There is one certain criterion by which you can measure your success in this practice: And that is the degree of peace that you feel within.
  3. Look at your emotions: The body’s reaction to your mind. The more you are identified with your thinking, your likes and dislikes, judgments and interpretations, which is to say the less present you are as the watching consciousness, the stronger the emotional energy charge will be, whether you are aware of it or not.
  4. Watch out for any kind of defensiveness within yourself. By making this pattern conscious, by witnessing it, you un-identify from it. In the light of your consciousness, the unconscious pattern will then quickly dissolve.
  5. Start by observing the habitual tendency of your mind to want to escape from the Now. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future.
  6. As you go about your life, don’t give 100 percent of your attention to the external world and to your mind. Keep some within.


12 Days of Christmas Video 6


What choices, conscious or unconscious, are running your life?

I chose to raise my kids solo and break free from generational cycle of domestic violence. I chose not to live in fear after my ex-husband attempted to kidnap my kids. I also chose to break free from depression when I lost my sense of purpose and contribution.

And after yesterday’s breakthrough, I choose to cultivate enriching and deeply fulfilling relationships and to always align with the vibration of peace, love and joy.

This was not always the case. There was a time that when I felt unsafe, my whole body would shake, my throat would hurt and close up, and my voice would shake that I’d just cry in frustration. Then I would kick myself later for not expressing how I truly felt.

It would happen again and again and again. I would bottle it all up until I get fed up and lash out in anger. Which would make me kick myself all over again because I was perpetuating the very thing I said I wouldn’t tolerate and participate in: fear and terror.

That’s when I altered my choices.

I made a conscious decision to focus all my attention and energy to take back my power, strength, voice, well-being, my truth, and peace of mind, and create a new reality based on what I’d rather experience which are love, joy, abundance and oneness.

So what is your choice?

Regardless of the situation you are in, please know that you have the power of choice.

  • You get to choose what to believe in.
  • You get to choose what you want to experience.
  • You get to choose what reality to create.
  • You get to choose where to spend your precious time, energy and resources.

No matter what, no matter what, no matter what, you always have a choice.

And should you choose to, you can try on my favorite empowering and life-affirming beliefs that changed my life, and watch what happens.

I am safe.

All is well.

All I need is within me now.

I am whole, perfect and complete.

I am welcome here.





12 Days of Christmas Video 5

For most of my clients, ALLOWING, although a pretty simple concept, is really hard. Sometimes the experience was just too painful to deal with. And the natural tendency is to numb, shut down, get distracted, anything, just not to feel the pain.

To resist/ignore/shut down the experience and not allow the emotions to be fully felt creates an imbalance in the inflow and outflow of energy. The energy gets trapped in the body and manifests as physical and mental dis-ease or as relationship and abundance blocks.

When the energy is allowed to flow in and out with ease, you get what you want, opportunities keep showing up. There might be challenges but you easily find solutions. You enjoy a wonderful and great life: a healthy body, bank account and relationships!

And you are happy! As are the people around you. Because you radiate love, light and joy to the environment!

Now.. for today’s video, the word is WELCOMING.

Even tho I have come to terms with a lot of things in my life and at peace with the past, some things are still not where I would like them to be. And today’s word, WELCOMING, totally shifts my whole life, my whole world, to a whole new trajectory.

This is a huge lightbulb moment. Ah-mazing to unlock a piece of me that was tucked away from my reality. And I can’t tell you just how excited I am to take my life to the next level with this shift!

And now I invite you to play with the word WELCOMING and just get curious… wherever you may have felt not wanted, not needed, not spontaneous, not important, not funny enough… whatever it was you were convinced to think you were not….

Just check in. Simply observe… allow it to come forth… without judging, analyzing or defending.

What might have you turned off because you were a “nuisance” or “too much” or “too loud” or too ______? (Fill in the blank). What had you hold back from fully participating and showing up in life because you believed you were _______?

Would you now welcome that part of you back?

And say with me, I AM WELCOME HERE. All of me.

12 Days of Christmas Video 4

Allowing vs. Resistance

Does it mean also allowing pain and hurt and negative emotions to be expressed and experienced since that is a part of life?


Allowing does not mean to endure and tolerate. What you are allowing are feelings, both good and bad, to come up and be experienced without judging it, making it wrong or pushing it away. Negative emotions dissipate as soon as they are allowed to pass through.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.

Suffering lies in the resistance to let go of the story, meaning, emotion or belief that is creating the conflict and negative emotions. When you are present a feeling or an emotion, any emotion, simply notice without attaching meaning to it.

Let joy or sadness, peace or anger, or whatever is coming be fully felt then allow it to move through and out of you. Emotion means energy in motion.

Emotions rise up and go away UNLESS you make it wrong, avoid it or run away from it. Unprocessed emotion get solidified in the body. What you resist, persists. Life will keep giving you opportunities to release the stuck emotion because life is calling you back to you, back to life, back to love.

It is difficult to let go because resistance is programmed and conditioned with us. But with practice, it gets easier.

Read back on the previous blogs of this series and put into practice forgiveness, clearing and completion exercises. The minute you become aware you are in resistance in simply do the exercises without judgment. Then go back to allowing.

When you allow yourself to be fully present with a wide range of emotions, life experiences become a lot richer, fulfilling and more meaningful.

Practice the art of allowing and transform your current reality into that of joy, peace and limitlessness.


12 Days of Christmas – Video 3


I see you!

Here’s Video #3 – Child’s Play

Do you remember how it was to be a kid? To learn while playing, be fearless and even risk getting into trouble? To be fun? To feel excitement and mischief?

And, like me, did you succumb to people or events demanding that you “Grow up” and “Be Serious” and that “You’re too old to play”?

The responsibilities of stepping into adulthood somehow makes us forget about the importance of play, imagination and creativity in our life and how it feeds our soul and inspiration. Play is what makes us vibrant and inspired.

Yes, we are adults now. But we don’t have to stop living. If we are willing, we can bring joy back. It was never lost. We can connect with the child-like spirit once again, if we allow ourselves to shake out all that we are not so we can return to love and joy and play again.

Yesterday I admitted on my blog to feeling jealous towards my sister. I always joked she is Mom’s favorite, but I never fully acknowledged or admitted especially to myself that I was jealous. I was so busy proving “I was better than” to listen to my child’s hurt.

What my inner child needs most is appreciation, that there is nothing she needs to do anymore or become. She constantly needs to hear from me that I love and appreciate her exactly the way she is. And it’s true. I love her so much. She is amazing. And I am so damned proud of her.

Note: If memories of childhood is too painful and brings back pain, sadness and discomfort…


We’ve all been victimized in our past one way or the other. So much has happened there that took away our power, our voice and somehow we were led to believe we did not matter or was not enough. But you don’t have to live in the past. You can heal childhood wounds so you can fully participate in life again.

As part of the 12 days free coaching offer, I would be more than happy to facilitate an inner child healing to support you in coming back home to you.

Alternatively, you can sit with your inner child, and get curious. No judgment, no finding faults, no defending. The child just wants to be heard, acknowledged and seen. The child just wants your reassurance s/he can speak up.

If you don’t know how to love and appreciate the child within you, ask: “How can I fully support you? How can you trust me again? How can I make sure you feel loved from now on?” Whatever is missing, whatever the child is hurting for, s/he will tell you.

Ask your child, what would be fun? What would make her/him sing in glee? What have you been wanting to do that is fun and exciting and even a bit dangerous, that you always had to back away from because it is not sensible? Because it is not responsible?

Take a pause and check in with YOU. Especially around this time when stress level is high. How can you raise your energy and come alive? Allow your child back in. Engage in play and imagination. Create through art and painting, music and dance, laughter and stories.

When you’re alive inside, watch what happens. You get to contribute joy to those around you, too. It’s contagious.

12 Days of Christmas Video 2

So today’s theme is APPRECIATION!

Here’s Video 2

Appreciation was something I had to consciously train myself to recognize.

Yes, I was taught to be thankful and count my blessings. But that’s not the same as appreciation.

I may have mistook it as respect, which is something I highly valued, hence, over-developed. And it’s still not the same as appreciation.

Sure, I knew of my talent and genius and graduated with honors and owned my share of successes. But did I appreciate any of it? No.

I didn’t know how until I had a meltdown. I didn’t know how until I immersed myself in self-help books.

I had to literally turn the appreciation switch on.

I had to train my senses to look for what’s good even when it appears bad and practice appreciation. And since I felt nature won’t reject me, for many years, I practiced making friends and appreciating Minnesota weather. I stopped blaming it for my bad days.

cloudy day

Like today, despite the cloud and rain, my attention went right away to the small strip of clear blue sky and loved it up.

I also loved up the clouds in the sky. Just like the doubts and confusion in my head, I may not like clouds at first, but I learned to appreciate them because they come bearing gifts. The clouds may temporarily block the sun, but only so it can water the earth. 

Similarly, the clouds in my own head also come bearing gifts. Like I said in yesterday’s blog, if we become present and not judge what we’re feeling, or push them away, there’s a message and guidance within.

Now. Just imagine how our lives would change when we deliberately and intentionally shift our focus and language from beating ourselves up to appreciating ourselves. Can you see it? Can you feel it?

I mean, if instead of the incessant negative self talk, criticisms and put downs that goes on and on in the mind that exhausts and depletes our energy, we renew it instead with lots of appreciation and allow it to appreciate, what might be possible?

Self-appreciation, not people pleasing, is what infuses and builds self-worth, which improves self-esteem. Nothing is more important than how you feel and think about yourself. And you can’t rely on others to do that else you are constantly waiting for others’ approval.

I admit. Sometimes in the course of the day, I forget to fully appreciate just how much I actually accomplished or how many people I served because my focus was on a deadline, or unmet expectation, or unrealized dreams, or heaven help me, the %$# who cut me off on the freeway.

When this happens, when I become unconscious, I go back to day 1, Forgiveness, so I can clear the past and be complete with it. It then allows me to be present with the present.

And when I am present, I so appreciate that I can tune in to my body’s intelligence and intuition. And this is available to you as well.

Which brought up another aha today.

I was looking at the bald trees (see photo above) when an emotion came up. I got curious. I welcomed it. I may have pushed it away while my sister was here, but nature is wise and has a way of showing us where we need nurturing and healing.

I was standing there wondering if the bald tree felt jealous of the luscious trees. Ahhhhh. Jealousy. Thank you. Now I can clear it and be at peace with it. Then I hugged the little child in me and told her how very much I love, value and appreciate her. Always and forever.

What you appreciate, appreciates.

12 Days of Christmas

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, if you celebrate.  Can you believe it’s almost Christmas? There’s so much uncertainty around us, and even in my own personal space, that it’s a bit of a challenge to get into the Christmas spirit.

For the first time, I spent Thanksgiving, and will spend Christmas, without my children… it’s the sad part of empty nesting I had mentally and emotionally prepared for, and still feeling my way around for.

And as it turned out, I am the one who is back in “my nest” where I lived some 22 years ago, here in the beautiful and picturesque, Vancouver, BC, with my Mom and my siblings.

Two months ago, while I was still in Hawaii, I got a call from my Mom who was a little distressed over her lab results. Since I coach from anywhere in the world via Skype or phone, I decided I could make a few changes and visit her.

I am very grateful that I can coach, attend meetings and training from anywhere in the world from my smart phone and laptop. It sure feels comforting to be cocooned in familiar love, warmth and laughter while I silently miss my own family especially this time of the year.

I was so happy that one of my sisters also came here for a visit. We had a lovely time, and we laughed and sang and teased and played. I was like a kid all over again.

But then, right after she left, I was very present with something bubbling up inside me. Something unsavory I was not able to identify right away, but it was there rising up.

Initially, I thought, hmmm… it’s that “people pleasing” disease again, isn’t it? See, I pushed everything on my calendar to spend time with Mom, and then again for my sister. But no, it wasn’t it. It didn’t resonate.

So I just sat with it, didn’t press, didn’t push, just patiently stayed with it without judgment and invited it to fully come out in the open, trusting that it is here to give me a message.

It’s a familiar feeling, this void, this restlessness, a wanting to just disappear and get away from it all.

I recognized it, welcomed it and had a chat with it. I even plotted with it. The resistance did loosen up.

As I was writing on my journal, I realized there was a pressure building up inside of me. I had some goals I set aside and a lot of unmet expectations.

A part of me was only seeing what is not going right in my life, where I made mistakes, where I failed, where I did not show up. As much as I abide by zero self judgment policy, there was a lot of grief and accompanying shame and insecurity… and fear and self-doubt.

When self doubt seeps in, self-trust gets compromised, integrity gets questioned. Then it all spirals down from there, feeling like a fraud, feeling like a fool, blaming yourself, questioning if the sacrifices you made was all worth it.

I sat with it. I cried with it. I grieved with it. I released the shame and blame and resentment for everything I gave up and lost, and everything else deep within me that is not vibrating love.

I made a note of where I failed and made mistakes and forgave myself, all of me, all parts of me – the stubborn, the proud, the one that don’t settle for less, the one that demands respect, the one that hides, and one who’d rather avoid life… all of them…

But its still not enough to regain full self-trust. I need to take full responsibility else I am back to feeling disconnected and out of alignment in no time at all.

So I asked, where is the void really coming from? What did I start and not finish? Where am I feeling incomplete? Where am I conflicted? Where am I getting in my own way?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am truly grateful for all of 2015. It was a phenomenal year. The best year of my life. Ever.

But I need to take action to bring me back in deeper alignment with myself and bring forth that sense of fulfillment and satisfaction that me, myself and I am denying myself.

Last year, the answer was to complete my RMT certification. I argued that I was already certified elsewhere, hence, don’t need another certification.

Ahhhh… But there’s power in completion. And there is nothing like it.

And this year, the answer was like a sore thumb that stuck out.

And… drum roll please…. tada… VIDEO!

Yeah… I did not follow through on my promise to do video footage of my Europe trip. It may be no big deal, really, no one got hurt, right? But deep inside, a part of me knows I am out of integrity, not just video, but a whole lot of other things.

Which breeds self doubt, self-distrust, insecurity….

Which erodes confidence, which erodes self esteem, which limits self expression…

So, as you can see, a mere sorry to myself just wont cut it. I need to take some massive action to get myself out of the rut I dug myself into.

So, to add on to 12 days of free coaching that I launched on 12/12 on my facebook page, I decided to do 12 days of video blogs. And you are reading the first installment.

As I mentioned on the video below, I have no agenda, this all just came to me last night as I was sobbing while reviewing my year. So for 12 days, off the cuff, I will just share with you what I am present with (insights, gems, ahas) and have it be my present to you this Christmas.

So, here you are… here’s Video #1…

And to wrap up this blog #1, my invitation to you is – SELF-FORGIVENESS and POWER OF COMPLETION.

Where are you feeling a void or incomplete and how can you be present with it without shame, judgment and blame? Would you now listen to parts of you who may be feeling neglected, abandoned or left out so it can be heard and seen, and so you can gain insight from your own wisdom?

We are all doing the best we can. This Christmas, may we learn to forgive ourselves, be more compassionate and at peace from with ourselves, so we can then project it out into the world and shower it with love, forgiveness and peace that it needs so very badly.

Peace and blessings to you this season of giving.

Put some lipstick on…

I hope it’s not too late to still greet you Happy Thanksgiving. My energy and focus this week has been on my mother. When I was in Hawaii for 2 months, I received a call from her that her lab results were worrisome. And I am so thankful I am in that place in life where I can simply decide to drive from LA to Vancouver, BC, spend some time with her, and give her some pampering and undivided attention.

Funny enough, this morning, when she was getting ready for her doctor’s appointment, I get the usual mothering: “your coffee is getting cold”, “shouldn’t you be getting ready?”, “aren’t you gonna put make up on?”

I mumbled I don’t need much time to get ready, and I can go “like this”

“Oh no. I want you to look presentable when I introduce you to my doctor. I can’t have you looking older than me.”

Uhm. Mom. Seriously?

Like wow… the voice in my head that had me questioning my enoughness is back… except it is not in my head… I actually hear the words outside of me and she’s actually right in front of me.

And if I haven’t been doing inner work, I could see and could very well justify how I had poorly or brilliantly reacted in the past depending on the mood I was in.

I used to either crack a joke… or be totally crass. My favorite comeback was – “Mom, if I did put lipstick on, could you imagine how many more suitors would line up at the door?”

But there were also times I just did not have it in me to let her comment pass. There was a time I flared up. I was so burnt out and so stressed that I was dying to hear one word of acknowledgment. None came.

I was such in a bad state that I did believe I was not good enough anymore and even questioned if I was ever good enough at all.

But today I smiled. And ever so thankful that I am so much wiser.

I’ve learned that what someone else says could be one of two things, or both:

It’s their projection… of their insecurity, for example . Or,

If there’s that hook, that compelling need to react, justify or defend, it’s an unresolved emotional baggage, a childhood wounding, or a past conditioning. It hurts to hear it said to you because on some level you believe it to be true.

And this is great! To be triggered is a gift. For finally, you can un-suppress the emotions you’ve swept under the rug and just be present with it. It’s an opportunity to let go of the shame and be rid of the lie – the lie that “I’m not good enough”.

This “I’m not good/smart/pretty/rich/tall/thin/sexy enough” is a silent epidemic! And it is the root of worries, fears, anxiety, stress, anger, resentment, judgment. 

It’s the reason you feel so heartbroken and betrayed whenever someone makes a seemingly insensitive, inflammatory comment, or your lover forgets to call, or your mother sides with her favorite son or daughter… 

This “I’m not good enough” comes in a variety of forms such as:

I don’t deserve
I’m not worthy
I have nothing to offer
I always mess things up
I’m no good
I’m a failure
I’m not as good as…

If this resonates, know that it’s a lie you believed as true as a child. It’s a false belief that needs to be challenged, eradicated and rewired. Believe it or not, there’s an ap for that just ask me how.

As for me, I felt no need to hide behind a joke or smart comment, nor come up with some defensive excuse like “putting make up on is a waste of time”, or, “beauty is only skin deep” for neither one was ever true. They were just convenient excuses to keep pissing off my mother and resist doing the very thing she was nagging me to do – put lipstick on! 

Why? Because deep inside, I wanted her to see my value. More than anything, I want to be loved for me, just as I am, flaws and all, no excuses, no apologies, take it or leave it. 

I can’t tell you how much freeing it is to finally not have to defend, avoid, pretend, or even impress my mother. I simply get to be me with no emotional charge or resistance. 

This Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the meaning of true freedom… freedom to be me… freedom to fully express and experience all of me and all of life… with or without lipstick. I have nothing to prove. I simply am. And what I am is enough. 

And I wish this freedom for you as well. Freedom that comes from deeply knowing YOU ARE ENOUGH. And that no one and nothing can ever diminish your value and worth. Ever. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

If you would like some support to break free from “I am not enough” so you can take back your power and create the life you deserve and desire, I would love to help.  Click here to schedule a free 45 minute Get Unstuck Consultation or email me at Tess@openheartmindcoaching.com.

What is Holiness?

“To be saints is not a privilege for the few, but a vocation for everyone.” -Pope Francis

Do you agree?

I do.

I searched my whole life understanding this. Went to Catholic schools, from kindergarten to University, yet, I remember walking around in the clouds most time, not fitting in, not understanding…

‘Coz if we are called to be the Salt of the Earth, the Light of the World… if we are the temple of the Holy Spirit… if God is love… if I am an image and likeness of God, then why…? and what about…? then how come…?

So many questions unanswered… until…

Heaven is here and now

Heaven is here and now

I lived most of life avoiding people, living in my own world where I can be safe from the harsh reality of a punitive world. And now, finally… clarity… and light from a tunnel of darkness…

Yes, it took a cosmic 2×4, and one gut wrenching and heartbreaking experiences one after another… but what a gift!!!

I can look back now with relief, peace and gratitude and live life with excitement, enthusiasm and joy because each of those lessons taught me how to let go of resistance and surrender to a bigger heart opening and mind expansion… to enlightenment… to wholeness and fullness.

And with the Pope seeming to back up my every insight, every experience, ever realization, boy was I bolder in my exploration. This is not a coincidence. The world is awakening more and more each day.

To be saints is not a privilege for the few… This is a call for you and me. And please don’t wait for your own cosmic 2×4. You can answer this vocation NOW.

And yes to be saints would require holiness, won’t it?

So what does holiness mean? What does it mean to be the face of God? To be His image and likeness? To be the temple of the Holy Spirit?

Holiness means wholeness. Holiness means you were never broken or damaged. You were never a mistake, or a failure. 

Holiness means being all of who you are – the complete package – no parts left behind – the whole deal. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Holiness means re-member-ing all parts of you, reclaiming every inch of our being especially the ones we disown, deny or left behind as we tried to fit in in this world.

The word Sin, on the other hand, means to miss the mark. The sin is in thinking and believing you were unworthy and undeserving and unforgivable. The sin is in thinking you were separate from God and creation itself.

“Be whole as your Father in heaven is whole.” 

You are ALREADY whole, perfect and complete.

And it doesn’t even take a miracle to holy because you are the miracle. All you need is your permission to say yes to you and be willing to open your heart and mind to what your spirit has been calling and guiding you to.

Holiness is no longer for the privileged few… It is for you and me. Truly.

If you are ready to break free from shame, guilt and unforgiveness that keep you feeling broken, empty, confused, conflicted, fragmented and separate from God, I am here to fully support you.  

If today you hear God’s call, harden not your heart.

Click here to schedule a free 45 minute Get Unstuck Consultation or email me at Tess@openheartmindcoaching.com to discuss whatever comes up for you in reading this article.


What is your body telling you?

Oh wow. Can you believe it? It’s been three months since my last blog. That went sooo fast. Yet it feels so good to finally shift my focus back to work and re-connect with you.

So much has happened since my last blog and I am actually at a loss on what to talk about. I mean, I have so much I want to share with you but, where to start?

Well… I guess I will start off by saying the empty nesting celebration was a bit premature. My daughter, who was supposed to go to college in UK, encountered numerous setbacks from the get go and she is with me in Hawaii taking an involuntary break from school. 

I won’t belabor here the frustration and sense of defeat we all felt dealing with what should have been a fairly simple process. We fought back with each setback and lost in the end. Needless to say, we were heartbroken.

And as I type that, I am scanning my body for any lingering emotional charge.



Regret, resentment and bitterness when pushed back and not fully processed, acknowledged and released can affect your well-being – mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

Which is why I took great care that required all of my being and all that I’ve got, tools and what-not’s, to constantly shift, reframe and keep opening up especially when it would have been easier to just numb, avoid, collapse and shrink.

The guidance I received came loud and clear:

EXPAND even when reality and circumstances dictate that I give up, contract and shut down.

It was not easy but I got through it and am a better person because of it. The whole experience taught me to dig deeper, chunk up (an NLP term to elevate) address my deeper needs, and take back my power.

Fear also shows up in the body. Two months prior to getting on the plane, I was experiencing pain in the groin and hip area that limited my movement. I shared at Toastmasters, right before I left Minneapolis, that the pain, despite all my preparation for the trip, was symptomatic of an underlying fear:

Fear of moving.

Fear of change.

Fear of the unknown, and

Fear of losing control.

Instead of running away from fear, I acknowledged it and danced with it.

I have aversion to pills so my response, as always, is to tune in to my body’s message. What is it trying to tell me?

Pain is a call for attention from the body, not to pop pills and numb the pain and discomfort. But to pay attention where there is a disconnect or mis-alignment.

Believe it or not, through self-love and forgiveness, the pain disappeared the minute I got on the plane. I thoroughly enjoyed all my travels pain-free and mediation-free. In fact, I haven’t been sick at all since leaving Minneapolis.

Now… having said that, it’s quite interesting to note that for a few days last week, I couldn’t fully turn my neck. This used to happen a lot when I was working 2 jobs and raising my kids solo. I used to say, the neck is where I carried my stress. 

But I later learned that stiff neck is indicative of my unwillingness, inflexibility or lack of clear direction. It may also mean that I am in living in my head and disconnected from the heart.

In other words, the pain in my neck is reminding me to “Wake up! You are living in fear, lack and separation and turning away, unconsciously, from love, abundance and oneness”.

Pretty cool, huh, coz with awareness, I can make tiny adjustments to course correct. 

I love these reminders. See, I am in a growth spurt right now, and it’s fantastic! Yet that same growth is threatening a very primal need for stability, sameness and security, hence the resistance to growth coz it might upset the apple cart, which ironically is already upset to begin with.

With growth comes change, and change comes with resistance. It’s human nature to resist change and cling to where it is safe, familiar and comfortable. But to truly live life, we have to keep growing, else we die. 

I learned that going through life avoiding pain and failures is not truly living. It may satisfy the need to stay safe and secure, but it would never bring the fulfillment and deeper meaning one truly yearns for.

I also learned that life is not about overcoming resistance and challenges. Rather, it is about getting in alignment with the deepest part of yourself and allowing that part to be fully expressed and manifested as you, in you and through you.

I’ve come to conclusion that the goal in life is not to power through and overcome what’s in the way. The problem is the way. The problem is a gift, which when embraced can lead you to deeper knowing of who you really are and what you are truly capable of. It hold the key to true freedom.

It really is about coming to wholeness. Oneness. Body-Mind-Spirit Alignment.

And one way to start is listening to what your body is telling you so it can start to heal and function from wholeness. 

As always, my intention for myself and this community is to raise awareness and consciousness, inspire freedom and action, and open our hearts and minds to break free from fear, lack and separation.

As additional resource, listed below are symptoms and their emotional counterpart according to Louise Hay. Before I was a coach, I led workshops based on her work, Bruce Lipton’s and many others who shed light on psychoneuroimmunology. 

Let me know if you have questions or need additional support. 



Abdominal Cramps: Fear. Stopping the process.

Abscess: Fermenting thoughts over hurts, slights and revenge.

Accidents: Inability to speak up for the self. Rebellion against authority. Belief in violence.

Aches: Longing for love. Longing to be held.

Acne: Not accepting the self. Dislike of the self.

Addictions: Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love self.

Adrenal Problems: Defeatism. No longer caring for the self. Anxiety.

Alcoholism: Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequacy. Self-rejection.

Allergies: Denying your own power.

Alzheimer’s Disease: Refusal to deal with the world as it is. Hopelessness and helplessness. Anger.

Amenorrhea: Not wanting to be a woman. Dislike of the self.

Anemia: “Yes-but” attitude. Lack of joy. Fear of life. Not feeling good enough.

Ankle: Inflexibility and guilt. Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.

Anorexia: Denying the self life. Extreme fear, self-hatred and rejection.

Anxiety: Not trusting the flow and the process of life.

Apathy: Resistance to feeling. Deadening of the self. Fear.

Appetite, Excessive: Fear. Needing protection. Judging the emotions.

Arm: Represents the capacity and ability to hold the experiences of life.

Arteries: Carry the joy of life.

Arthritic Fingers: A desire to punish. Blame. Feeling victimized.

Arthritis: Feeling unloved. Criticism, resentment. – Rheumatoid Arthritis: Feeling victimized. Lack of love. Chronic bitterness. Resentment. Deep criticism of authority. Feeling very put upon.

Asthma: Smother love. Inability to breathe for one’s self. Feeling stifled. Suppressed crying.

Athlete’s Foot: Frustration at not being accepted. Inability to move forward with ease.


Back Issues: Represents the support of life. Back Problems: – Rounded shoulders: Carrying the burdens of life. Helpless and hopeless. – Lower Back Pain: Fear of money or lack of financial support. – Mid-Back Pain: Guilt. Stuck in all that stuff back there. “Get off my back!” – Upper Back Pain: Lack of emotional support. Feeling unloved. Holding back love. – Back Curvature: The inability to flow with the support of life. Fear and trying to hold on to old ideas. Not trusting life. Lack of integrity. No courage of convictions.

Bad Breath: Anger and revenge thoughts. Experiences backing up.

Balance, Loss of: Scattered thinking. Not centered.

Baldness: Fear. Tension. Trying to control everything.

Bedwetting: Fear of parent, usually the father.

Belching: Fear. Gulping life too quickly.

Bell’s Palsy: Extreme control over anger. Unwillingness to express feelings.

Bladder Problems: Anxiety. Holding on to old ideas. Fear of letting go. Being “pissed off”.

Bleeding: Joy running out. Anger.

Blisters: Resistance. Lack of emotional protection.

Blood Pressure: – High: Longstanding emotional problem not solved. – Low: Lack of love as a child. Defeatism.

Body Odor: Fear. Dislike of the self. Fear of others.

Bones: Represent the structure of the universe. – Bone marrow: Represents deepest beliefs about the self. How you support and care for yourself. – Breaks: Rebelling against authority.

Brain: Represents the computer, the switchboard. – Tumor: Incorrect computerized beliefs. Stubborn. Refusing to change old patterns.

Breast: Represents mothering and nurturing and nourishment. – Cysts, Lumps: A refusal to nourish the self. Putting everyone else first. Over mothering. Overprotection. Overbearing attitudes.

Breath: Represents the ability to take in life. – Breathing Problems: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Getting stuck in childhood. Fear of taking in life fully. – Bronchitis: Inflamed family environment. Arguments and yelling.

Bruises: The little bumps in life. Self-punishment.

Bulimia: Hopeless terror. A frantic stuffing and purging of self-hatred.

Burns: Anger. Burning up. Incensed.

Bursitis: Repressed anger. Wanting to hit someone.


Calluses: Hardened concepts and ideas. Fear solidified.

Cancer: Deep hurt. Longstanding resentment. Deep secret or grief eating away at the self. Carrying hatreds.

Candida: Feeling very scattered. Lots of frustration and anger. Demanding and untrusting in relationships. Great takers.

Canker Sores: Festering words held back by the lips. Blame.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome: Anger and frustration at life’s seeming injustices.

Cataracts: Inability to see ahead with joy. Dark future.

Cellulite: Stored anger and self-punishment.

Cerebral Palsy: A need to unite the family in an action of love.

Chills: Mental contraction, pulling away and in. Desire to retreat.

Cholesterol: Clogging the channels of joy. Fear of accepting joy.

Circulation: Represents the ability to feel and express the emotions in positive ways.

Colds: Too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.

Colic: Mental irritation, impatience, annoyance in the surroundings.

Colitis: Insecurity. Represents the ease of letting go of that which is over.

Coma: Fear. Escaping something or someone.

Conjunctivitis: Anger and frustration at what you are looking at in life.

Constipation: Incomplete releasing. Holding on to garbage of the past. Guilt over the past. Sometimes stinginess.

Corns: Hardened areas of thought – stubborn holding on to the pain of the past.

Coughs: A desire to bark at the world. “Listen to me!”

Cramps: Tension. Fear. Gripping, holding on.

Crohn’s Disease: Fear. Worry. Not feeling good enough.

Crying: Tears are the river of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear.

Cuts: Punishment for not following your own rules.

Cysts: Running the old painful movie. Nursing hurts. A false growth.

Cystic Fibrosis: A thick belief that life won’t work for you. “Poor me.”


Deafness: Rejection, stubbornness, isolation. What don’t you want to hear? “Don’t bother me.”

Depression: Anger you feel you do not have a right to have. Hopelessness.

Diabetes: Longing for what might have been. A great need to control. Deep sorrow. No sweetness left.

Diarrhea: Fear. Rejection. Running off.

Dizziness: Flighty, scattered thinking. A refusal to look.

Dry eyes: Angry eyes. Refusing to see with love. Would rather die than forgive. Being spiteful.

Dysmenorrhea: Anger at the self. Hatred of the body or of women.


Ear: Represents the capacity to hear. – Ache: Anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Household arguing.

Eczema: Breath-taking antagonism. Mental eruptions.

Edema: What or who won’t you let go of?

Elbow: Represents changing directions and accepting new experiences.

Emphysema: Fear of taking in life. Not worthy of living.

Endometriosis: Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.

Epilepsy: Sense of persecution. Rejection of life. A feeling of great struggle. Self-violence.

Epstein-Barr Virus: Pushing beyond one’s limits. Fear of not being good enough. Draining all inner support. Stress.

Eye: Represents the capacity to see clearly past, present, future. – Astigmatism: “I” trouble. Fear of really seeing the self. – Hyperopia: Fear of the present. – Myopia: Fear of the future.


Face: Represents what we show the world.

Fainting: Fear. Can’t cope. Blacking out.

Fat or Weight issues: Oversensitivity. Often represents fear and shows a need for protection. Fear may be a cover for hidden anger and a resistance to forgive. Running away from feelings. Insecurity, self-rejection and seeking fulfillment. – Arms: Anger at being denied love. – Belly: Anger at being denied nourishment. – Hips: Lumps of stubborn anger at the parents. – Thighs: Packed childhood anger. Often rage at the father.

Fatigue: Resistance, boredom. Lack of love for what one does.

Feet: Represent our understanding – of ourselves, of life, of others. – Foot Problems: Fear of the future and of not stepping forward in life.

Fever: Anger. Burning up.

Fibroid Tumors: Nursing a hurt from a partner. A blow to the feminine ego.

Fingers: Represent the details of life. – Thumb: Represents intellect and worry. – Index: Represents ego and fear. – Middle: Represents anger and sexuality. – Ring: Represents unions and grief. – Little: Represents the family and pretending.

Food Poisoning: Allowing others to take control. Feeling defenseless.

Frigidity: Fear. Denial of pleasure. A belief that sex is bad. Insensitive partners. Fear of father.

Fungus: Stagnating beliefs. Refusing to release the past. Letting the past rule today.


Gallstones: Bitterness. Hard thoughts. Condemning. Pride.

Gas: Gripping. Fear. Undigested ideas.

Gastritis: Prolonged uncertainty. A feeling of doom.

Genitals: Represent the masculine and feminine principles. Worry about not being good enough.

Gland Problems: Represent holding stations. Self-staring activity. Holding yourself back.

Gout: The need to dominate. Impatience, anger.

Glaucoma: Stony unforgiveness. Pressure from longstanding hurts. Overwhelmed by it all.

Gray Hair: Stress. A belief in pressure and strain.

Growths: Nursing those old hurts. Building resentments.

Gum Problems: Inability to back up decisions. Indecisive about life.


Hands: Hold and handle. Clutch and grip. Grasping and letting go. Caressing. Pinching. All ways of dealing with experiences.

Hay Fever: Emotional congestion. Fear of the calendar. A belief in persecution. Guilt.

Headaches: Invalidating the self. Self-criticism. Fear.

Heart: Represents the center of love and security. – Heart Attack: Squeezing all the joy out of the heart in favor of money or position. Feeling alone and scared. “I’m not good enough. I don’t do enough. I’ll never make it.” – Heart Problems: Longstanding emotional problems. Lack of joy. Hardening of the heart. Belief in strain and stress.

Heartburn: Fear. Fear. Fear. Clutching Fear.

Hemorrhoids: Fear of deadlines. Anger of the past. Afraid to let go. Feeling burdened.

Hepatitis: Resistance to change. Fear, anger, hatred. Liver is the seat of anger and rage.

Hernia: Ruptured relationships. Strain, burdens, incorrect creative expression.

Herpes Genitalis: Mass belief in sexual guilt and the need for punishment. Public shame. Belief in a punishing God. Rejection of the genitals.

Herpes Simplex: Bitter words left unspoken.

Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance. Major thrust in moving forward. Fear of going forward in major decisions. Nothing to move forward to.

Hives: Small, hidden fears. Mountains out of molehills.

Hodgkin’s Disease: Blame and a tremendous fear of not being good enough. A frantic race to prove one’s self until the blood has no substance left to support itself. The joy of life is forgotten in the race of acceptance.

Hyperactivity: Fear. Feeling pressured and frantic.

Hyperventilation: Fear. Resisting change. Not trusting the process.

Hypoglycemia: Overwhelmed by the burdens in life.


Impotence: Sexual pressure, tension, guilt. Social beliefs. Spite against a previous mate. Fear of mother.

Incontinence: Emotional overflow. Years of controlling emotions.

Indigestion: Gut-level fear, dread, anxiety. Griping and grunting.

Infection: Irritation, anger, annoyance.

Inflammation: Fear. Seeing red. Inflamed thinking. Anger and frustration about conditions you are looking at in your life.

Influenza: Response to mass negativity and beliefs. Fear. Belief in statistics.

Ingrown Toenail: Worry and guilt about your right to move forward.

Injuries: Anger at the self. Feeling guilty.

Insanity: Fleeing from the family. Escapism, withdrawal. Violent separation from life.

Insomnia: Fear. Not trusting the process of life. Guilt.

Intestines: Represent assimilation and absorption.

Itching: Desires that go against the grain. Unsatisfied. Remorse. Itching to get out or get away.


Jaundice: Internal and external prejudice. Unbalanced reason.

Jaw Problems: Anger. Resentment. Desire for revenge.


Kidney Problems: Criticism, disappointment, failure. Shame. Reacting like a child.

Kidney Stones: Lumps of undissolved anger.

Knee: Represents pride and ego. Stubborn ego and pride. Inability to bend. Fear. Inflexibility. Won’t give in.


Laryngitis: So mad you can’t speak. Fear of speaking up. Resentment of authority.

Left Side of Body: Represents receptivity, taking in, feminine energy, women, the mother.

Leg: Carry us forward in life.

Liver: Seat of anger and primitive emotions. Chronic complaining. Justifying fault-finding to deceive yourself. Feeling bad.

Lockjaw: Anger. A desire to control. A refusal to express feelings.

Lump in the Throat: Fear. Not trusting the process of life.

Lung: The ability to take in life. Depression. Grief. Not feeling worthy of living life fully.

Lupus: A giving up. Better to die than stand up for one’s self. Anger and punishment.

Lymph Problems: A warning that the mind needs to be recentered on the essentials of life. Love and joy.


Malaria: Out of balance with nature and with life.

Menopause Problems: Fear of no longer being wanted. Fear of aging. Self-rejection. Not feeling good enough.

Menstrual Problems: Rejection of one’s femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty.

Migraine Headaches: Dislike of being driven. Resisting the flow of life. Sexual fears.

Miscarriage: Fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.

Mononucleosis: Anger at not receiving love and appreciation. No longer caring for the self.

Motion Sickness: Fear. Bondage. Feeling of being trapped.

Mouth: Represents taking in of new ideas and nourishment. Set opinions. Closed mind. Incapacity to take in new ideas.

Multiple Sclerosis: Mental hardness, hard-heartedness, iron will, inflexibility.

Muscles: Resistance to new experiences. Muscles represent our ability to move in life.

Muscular Dystrophy: “It’s not worth growing up.”


Nails: Represent protection. – Nail Biting: Frustration. Eating away at the self. Spite of a parent.

Narcolepsy: Can’t cope. Extreme fear. Wanting to get away from it all. Not wanting to be here.

Nausea: Fear. Rejecting an idea or experience.

Neck: Represents flexibility. The ability to see what’s back there. Refusing to see other sides of a question. Stubbornness, inflexibility. Unbending stubbornness.

Nephritis: Overreaction to disappointment and failure.

Nerves: Represent communication. Receptive reporters.

Nervous Breakdown: Self-centeredness. Jamming the channels of communication.

Nervousness: Fear, anxiety, struggle, rushing. Not trusting the process of life.

Neuralgia: Punishment for guilt. Anguish over communication.

Nodules: Resentment and frustration and hurt ego over career.

Nose: Represents self-recognition. – Nose Bleeds:A need for recobnition. Feeling unnoticed. Crying for love. – Runny Nose: Asking for help. Inner crying. – Stuffy Nose: Not recognizing the self-worth.

Numbness: Withholding love and consideration. Going dead mentally.


Osteomyelitis: Anger and frustration at the very structure of life. Feeling unsupported.

Osteoporosis: Feeling there is no support left in life. Mental pressures and tightness. Muscles can’t stretch. Loss of mental mobility.

Ovaries: Represent points of creation. Creativity.


Pain: Guilt. Guilt always seeks punishment.

Paralysis: Paralysing thoughts. Getting stuck. Terror leading to escape from a situation or person.

Pancreas: Represents the sweetness of life.

Pancreatitis: Rejection. Anger and frustration because life seems to have lost its sweetness.

Parasites: Giving power to others, letting them take over and life off of you.

Parkinson’s Disease: Fear and an intense desire to control everything and everyone.

Peptic Ulcer: Fear. A belief that you are not good enough. Anxious to please.

Phlebitis: Anger and frustration. Blaming others for the limitation and lack of joy in life.

Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.

Pituitary Gland: Represents the control center.

Pneumonia: Desperate. Tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal.

Poison Ivy: Allergy Feeling defenseless and open to attack.

Polio: Paralysing jealousy. A desire to stop someone.

Premenstrual Syndrome: Allowing confusion to reign. Giving power to outside influences. Rejection of the feminine processes.

Prostate: Represents the masculine principle. Mental fears weaken the masculinity. Giving up. Sexual pressure and guilt. Belief in aging.

Psoriasis: Fear of being hurt. Deadening the senses of the self. Refusing to accept responsibility for our own feelings.


Rash: Irritation over delays. Immature way to get attention.

Right Side of Body: Giving out, letting go, masculine energy, men, the father.

Ringworm: Allowing others to get under your skin. Not feeling good enough or clean enough.


Scabies: Infected thinking. Allowing others to get under your skin.

Sciatica: Being hypocritical. Fear of money and of the future.

Scleroderma: Protecting the self from life. Not trusting yourself to be there and to take care of yourself.

Scratches: Feeling life tears at you, that life is a rip off.

Senility: Returning to the so-called safety of childhood. Demanding care and attention. A form of control of those around you. Escapism.

Shin: Represents the standards of life. Breaking down ideals.

Shingles: Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Fear and tension. Too sensitive.

Sinus Problems: Irritation to one person, someone close.

Skin: Protects our individuality. Anxiety, fear. Old, buried things. I am being threatened.

Slipped Disc: Feeling totally unsupported by life. Indecisive.

Snoring: Stubborn refusal to let go of old patterns.

Solar Plexus: Gut reactions. Center of our intuitive power.

Sores: Unexpressed anger that settles in.

Spleen: Obsessions. Being obsessed about things.

Sprains: Anger and resistance. Not wanting to move in a certain direction in life.

Sterility: Fear and resistance to the process of life or not needing to go through the parenting experience.

Stiffness: Rigid, stiff thinking.

Stomach: Holds nourishment. Digests ideas. Dread. Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.

Stroke: Giving up. Resistance. Rather die than change. Rejection of life.

Stuttering: Insecurity. Lack of self-expression. Not being allowed to cry.

Sty: Looking at life through angry eyes. Angry at someone.

Suicidal thoughts: See life only in black and white. Refusal to see another way out.


Teeth: Represent decisions. – Teeth Problems: Longstanding indecisiveness. Inability to break down ideas for analysis and decisions. – Root Canal: Can’t bite into anything anymore. Root beliefs being destroyed. – Impacted Wisdom Teeth: Not giving yourself mental space to create a firm foundation.

Throat: Avenue of expression. Channel of creativity. – Throat Problems: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change. – Sore throat: Holding in angry words. Feeling unable to express the self.

Thrush: Anger over making the wrong decisions.

Thymus Gland: Feeling attacked by life. They are out to get me.

Thyroid Gland: Humiliation. I never get to do what I want to do. When is it going to be my turn. – Hyperthyroid: Rage at being left out.

Tics, Twitches: Fear. A feeling of being watched by others.

Tinnitus or Ringing in the Ears: Refusal to listen. Not hearing the inner voice. Stubbornness.

Toes: Represent the minor details of the future.

Tongue: Represents the ability to taste the pleasures of life with joy.

Tonsillitis: Fear. Repressed emotions. Stifled creativity.

Tuberculosis: Wasting away from selfishness. Possessive. Cruel thoughts. Revenge.


Urinary infections: Pissed off, usually at the opposite sex or a lover. Blaming others.

Uterus: Represents the home of creativity.


Vaginitis: Anger at a mate. Sexual guilt. Punishing the self.

Varicose Veins: Standing in a situation you hate. Discouragement. Feeling over-worked and overburdened.

Vitiligo: Feeling completely outside of things. Not belonging. Not one of the group.

Vomiting: Violent rejection of ideas. Fear of the new.


Warts: Little expressions of hate. Belief in ugliness. – Plantar Warts: Anger at the very basis of your understanding. Spreading frustration about the future.

Wrist: Represents movement and ease.

If you are ready to break free from emotional pain and would like some support to take back your power and transform your life, I would love to help.  Click here to schedule a free 45 minute Get Unstuck Consultation or email me at Tess@openheartmindcoaching.com.