Whew! At first I did not want to do the video because I was getting all emotional about the holidays. I waited until I felt better else I would have failed on the commitment and follow through. I needed to re-establish self-trust. So I shot the video.
And then, when I saw how raw and vulnerable I looked in the video, I almost did not want to publish it. I almost bought into the fear that I will be judged as inadequate or incapable in my work as an Awakening Coach. Which is BS! So I published and shared it anyway.
The truth is, no matter where we are in our personal development and spiritual journey, there is not “there” to “arrive” to. Our potentials are infinite and the possibilities are endless. There’s always work to be done and progress to be had. We’re either growing or we’re dying .
So I called my own bullshit and immediately felt freedom as I released the need to have to pretend or impress anyone that I have everything perfectly put together. Where’s the freedom and authenticity in pretending or trying to impress? It goes against what I stand for.
The blessing is in self-awareness and seeing through where the mind is taking you.
An excuse, or BS, is when you’re mind is trying to convince you that “you can’t” or “it’s impossible”. For me it was trying to trick me into falling back into an old limiting belief of, “oh no, I am not good enough, I have nothing good to say on video.” Bull.
Know that the mind is not doing this to intentionally sabotage you. It always has a positive intention to keep you safe, that’s its main job, so it might look like it is holding you back from making progress, but it’s intention is to keep you the same so you can be safe.
That’s how I befriend and master my own mind. Not by making it wrong. But by allowing it to do its job, and me to become aware when I am being run by my primal need to feel safe and secure and then doing the same exercise in the video. Checking in with myself. Listening.
So there are times I practice tough love, by calling myself on my own excuse. And on other times, I need to practice self compassion especially when faced with a difficult emotion.
Again, self-awareness on what works with you. You are unique. There’s no one else like you. Others will convince you to try their practice or modality. That was not the intention behind this video.
The message here is to move forward by not censoring how you feel and allow it to come forth. Just be with the emotion. We are so trained to tune our attention to distraction that turns into addiction (workaholic, shopaholic, binge eating, etc) to numb our feelings.
It’s time we put the focus back on us and check in what’s going underneath. Do this in small, baby steps. I suggest you start with a small thing that irritates you, a sock left on the floor, and just see where you can invite the energy of allowing in and see where it takes you.
As you explore, you will get a feel of what is true for you by personally experiencing what works and doesn’t, what feels self honoring or doesn’t. Be open to other’s suggestions, and know that there is no one size fits all. Ultimately, you gotta learn to listen to, and trust, YOU!
Oftentimes, we feel this overwhelming, paralyzing fear or emotion. And we allow it to control us through our learned/habitual response to it. We can unlearn the programming by becoming aware of our automatic responses.
As you catch yourself in a learned habit, or pattern, don’t judge it, just simply become aware. Should you choose to, you have the power to shift low energy states (guilt, fear, blame, nagging) and transform it to an energy that will move you forward (praise, gratitude, joy).
For me, allowing myself to uncover all my old ways of believing, thinking, feeling, behaving have expanded my way of being into deeper trust, love and compassion that in turn allows me to be fully present and compassionate for others. Its very fulfilling and rewarding.
Allow yourself to feel a full range of emotions allows you to experience the richness of life and play with what’s possible. You allow you to see who you really are, and not be manipulated how you “should” feel. You start seeing possibilities and potentials in you you’ve never seen before.
Same attitude can be applied to relationships. When you allow them and the relationship to bloom where it wants to naturally grow, not who you need them to be, or your ideas of what they should be, both people and relationship blossom and grow into the best they can be.
As love grows and deepens, you move forward in ways and places you never knew about. Life gets exciting because you actually experience more out of life because you allowed it to show up.
Have fun with this!